How my life has changed after Birth Control

In 2018 I started being active, I was 18 years old for reference. So naturally one goes into the birth control world. I started commonly with pills. I don't remember much from that month, how or if my moods were fluctuating. But eventually I got an IUD, a spiral. There are two kinds, hormonal and copper. I went for the hormonal one, because I read the symptoms online and they seemed better than the copper. 

Wrong. For me that is.

Let's just start with how it is inserted. I went to the doctor to get it inserted. The doctor couldn't see my cervix properly so they sent me to the hospital. At the hospital they first checked the placement of my cervix with a wand of sorts. A fat wand. She checked my cervix's placement. After that, comes the cervix measuring wand. The one who is inserted in your cervix to see how short or long the spiral has to be cut. 

Yes, you heard that right, they insert it into your cervix. I have never in my life felt this pain before. It is by far the top most painful situations I have ever been in. I'm never squeamish about anything in the doctor's office. I once had to have blister-like balls on my feet burned, without anesthesia as a kid. I was quiet, didn't flinch away. 

But having some pipe going into my cervix, made me do all the movements and the screams. And the fact that you have to do it twice, first be measured and then the actual spiral insertion. Man I had the worst few days after that. I went home with blood on my panties and barely being able to sit. I mean for 5 kid-less years no worries, fine. 

Until it wasn't fine.

I, from my own nature, have a lot of hormones. Like a lot, it runs in the family. So by choosing the hormonal spiral instead of the copper, I became the epitome of hormones. Out of nowhere I was smelling weird down there. I went to the doctor and they were afraid that it might've been an STD. Took a sample and turns out it was a bacteria that my own body was making, nothing harmful. Got some pills prescribed and moved on. 

Now this odor came back after a few weeks, naturally I started to think it was from poor hygiene. Maybe I was eating bad, or I wasn't washing good. Which made me buy something that no woman should buy. 

A douche. 

Naur, don't do it. Absolute no-no. I hate that we are pressured to smell like fabric softener or some shit. It creates a very unhealthy relationship with your Yoni. 

Let me explain what happened after getting a douche. Ma'am the smell worsened. A douche doesn't "clean" your Yoni. It breaks down the PH balance and messes everything up. And I didn't associate it with the douche for a long time. So I just kept tripping over the same rock, hoping not to fall time and time again. 

And maybe what I did after that was the worst. (P.s. I'm writing this knowing that many people could read this and judge. I'm writing this for myself to look back, but also to help future active people. Or just people with a vagina)

I started "hiding" the smell by using tampons. In my theory it would catch all the bad juices and keep it there, instead of airing it into the atmosphere. It helped, with the scent. But not with the matter. After getting my recent doctor is how I realized that just because something might be cured, doesn't mean it can't come back through other mediums.

I wasn't letting my Yoni heal or air out properly. I was recycling the bacteria over and over again. With said tampons. Also my partner was recycling the bacteria. A lot of things come into play here. So for me to properly get rid of this bacteria I had to get pills and my partner had to get an ointment to remove all bacteria, 7 days straight of applying. I also had a theory that having that spiral in me, was causing the off scales in my Yoni and in order it created that bacteria. Or that I was allergic to sperm, sigh. I actually tested that out and I still might be. Just pull out if you suspect that and see if there is any difference.

So I removed the IUD after 3 years of internal struggles, with not only my moods, but also my Yoni. 

My moods with the IUD were not the best, I was indecisive, cranky, irritated easily. I was not having the best time with my emotions. But it wasn't as bad as with the pills, that I had to take after removing the spiral. 

I was an actual mess. Panic attacks, self-harm(without wanting to, I would scratch/peel my skin when aggravated), tantrums, outbursts, paranoia, zero-energy etc. I'm very lucky to have my partner. He really tried to comprehend, of course there would be fights. But he didn't run away, something I tried to do, because I wasn't in the right state of mind.

I wanted to disappear for real. It wasn't fun, the three months I took them in. Called the doctor told her, I need to change these ASAP. She gave me the regular pills,  before I had the mini pills. Those weren't so mini in effect, like damn. 

To be honest, I had already been researching natural birth control. So I didn't give the second pills the chance. I took them in for maybe half a month and just stopped. 

That's when I started my natural birth control. In the following post I will talk about it in detail, but what it entitles is basically no birth control, just learning your cycle and your discharge + occasional condoms. We've been doing it for 10 months straight and no issues yet. 

Through these 5 years I have hated my Yoni, loved my Yoni, ruined my Yoni, shamed my Yoni. Right now I barely have issues, after removing the spiral and receiving the right cure for my bacteria issue. Plus I'm not pregnant, teehee. Just remember, don't do douches. And drop the tampons. I've been using tampons since 2017 I think. Give your Yoni some air. Also do with birth control as you like, my situation is mine. Do what you think is best for you. 

And seek professional help when in doubt.

If you want to learn more about the fertility awareness method, check out the next post!